Aging Parents And Baby-Sitting
My wife and I have been having a very disturbing life because of my son. At present he is taken care by a day care center. My wife wants my old parents to take care of him for the only reasons that they took care of my nephews earlier. She refuses to understand that they were young and healthy at that time. She feels they are refusing intentionally. Due to this she constantly taunts me, speaks degradingly about my parents, and many times blackmails me emotionally. This has made life a hell for me. I am unable to concentrate on my work and in fact it is also affecting my relations with her and my son. I want some help to, if not get rid of the problem to overcome the same.
Every working parent prefers that their child be looked after by family rather than by a stranger. It seems that your wife is not convinced that your old parents are unable to take care of your son, or else she would not insist. You say that there is a major problem with your aging parents baby-sitting your son and that your wife’s insistence is unreasonable. One needs to explore if and why she has a distorted perception of the situation. She needs to be understood and then counselled about her ‘unreasonable’ expectations. In this regard, both of you need to see a counsellor together to find a win-win solution and sort out the matter amicably once and forever.
Talking to kids about sex
I am a mother of two growing children who have asked me questions about sex. I know, I need to talk to them about sex. I wonder, why do I feel uncomfortable talking about Sex with my children? What do I do about it?
Most of the parents feel this way, and it is not surprising. Invariably reasons are as follows.
- Many of us were taught that sex is too “dirty” for words.
- Many of us feel that talking about sex is unladylike or ungentlemanly.
- Many of us are afraid that we do not have all the answers.
- It is hard for some of us to admit our children are sexual.
- It is even hard for some of us to admit that we are sexual.
- And many of us ‘fear’ the possible sexual feelings between our children and us.
But we can be open with them about our feelings. You can use an opening line like, “This is hard for me to talk about. My parents and I never discussed these things. But I want you to have someone to talk with, so feel free to ask me.”
Do not cover up your feelings or avoid the issue. That will make matters worse. Start a conversation, keep it going, and be open from the beginning. Just remember - information about sexuality is as important as food, shelter, and loving care. If you still feel that despite getting comfortable you don’t have all the answers, then you could take your children for a sex education session to a sex counsellor.
- Heart To Heart Counselling Centre runs Certificate courses in Counselling & Sex Education at 10 Jerbai Baug, Byculla (E), Mumbai-27. Tel: 22184528 / 9821093902. Email: email@example.com www.hearttoheartindia.net