Dyspareunia
What is dyspareunia? What causes it?
Dyspareunia is painful sexual intercourse for women. It can have various causes. It is highly recommended to talk to your doctor about this problem.
Any part of the genitals can cause pain during sexual intercourse. Some conditions affect the skin around the vagina.
Some women have a bacterial, viral or fungal vaginal infection, but sometimes the cause is unknown.
Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of the muscles around the vagina. In some women, the pain of the spasms is so severe that penile penetration becomes impossible. Vaginal dryness can also cause painful sex. This dryness may be caused by difficulty in becoming aroused due to psychological or relational reasons, lack of satisfying ‘foreplay’, changes in estrogen levels or due to menopause.
Sometimes the pain occurs not during penetration but once the penis is in the vagina. Some women report feeling as if “something is being bumped into”. In such cases, the pain maybe due to fibroid growths, or if the uterus is unusually tilted or if the uterus prolapses into the vagina. Some conditions or infections of the ovaries may also cause pain during intercourse, particularly in certain sexual positions. Previous surgeries may leave scar tissue that can cause pain too.
Be vulnerable in love
I am a 25-year-old man about to leave the country for higher studies for about a year. I am very friendly with a girl. However I’m slowly realising that I’m developing feelings for her and wish to spend the rest of my life with her. Shoud I ask her to wait for me to come back and then take it forward. I wouldn’t want to ruin a great friendship by telling her my feelings. I’m confused.
You say you see her as ‘someone you can spend the rest of your life with’. This means that there is something special in this friendship, and this does not come by so easily. You are fortunate that you have such a friendship, and you should value it enough to share your feelings and be vulnerable, because without vulnerability you cannot have love in your life. It is true that a long distance relationship can be very challenging; however, no one said you do not pay a price for love. It is important that you express your true feelings and ask her to honestly share what she feels too.
It is also imperative that you tell her that you are aware of the challenges ahead if you’ll decide to take it further, and that you do not want to pressure her one way or the other, and also that you cherish the friendship too much to allow it to be sabotaged by anything. If you do not communicate your feelings you could be plagued with the question, ‘What if?’ forever. Also know that if she does not reciprocate, it in no way means you are not lovable, but only that her dream is different. Remember, it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.