With the country gearing up to celebrate Independence Day, why shouldn’t you feel the freedom in your relationship? Gargi Bansod tells you how you can keep your independence
Obsessive partner, possessive lover and inquisitive boyfriend — is that how you’d describe your better half? Do you feel claustrophobic in your relationship due to lack of space? If so, you need to break through and find freedom within your relationship. You need to do this not because you don’t love your partner but so that your sanity and relationship stays intact. Here’s how:
A dose of yourself
The most important thing is to not forget who you are and lose yourself as an individual. Make sure you meet your friends, take the time to follow your hobbies and avoid making major changes just to fit in with your man. Your hobbies fulfill you, so keep them in your life. As clichéd as it may sound; this is what your partner fell in love with you for. Minor adjustments are needed but don’t forget who you are.
A little ‘me’ time
Yes, you love your partner a lot, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pamper yourself. Do things you enjoy. Join a yoga class or go out with your girlfriends. A few hours away from your guy will do you both good. When you have other hobbies and activities separate from your partner, you will create more excitement in your relationship. So, go get your hair done or read the much delayed book in the park, don’t be afraid to tell him you need to be alone for a bit. You might just miss him after sometime and alone time will also help you gain a better perspective about your relationship.
Go out alone
Ladies, you don’t always have to hang out with the same group of people. You need to get out there and make a set of exclusive friends. Don’t worry, it’s not disrespectful towards him, he probably needs a break from the same social circuit too.
Say what you DON’T expect
Expectations are always on a pedestal in a relationship. But, to keep your independence and not be tied down by constant queries from your partner, it is better to tell him what you don’t expect. For example, make it clear that you don’t want him to ask about your whereabouts every time you’re out or why you spoke to a particular person.
Believe you’re independent
Don’t depend on your man for everything. Start doing small tasks such as changing a plug or calling the plumber on your own. This will make you self reliant and also build your confidence as you can do things without his help. Also, when with others, make an effort to say ‘I’ instead of ‘we’, it is important that you offer your own point of view rather than letting him speak for the both of you.
Take a break
Not from your relationship but from each other. Take a weekend off and spend it with friends or on your own. This helps you gain a fresh view that you can share when you reunite. It's easy for claustrophobia to set in. And the vacation will be a good reminder of who you are and what you want.
Learn to say ‘no’
Lastly, saying ‘no’ is a talent that you need to master, if you want to keep your independence as a woman. Stop feeling guilty for saying no to your partner for certain things. You don’t need to feel like the bad guy here. You must learn to put yourself first and say no to unwanted influences.