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Ties That Free

Thursday, December 07, 2017

Most people believe that marriage means that they will lose their individual identity and will have to adjust to their partner’s needs. But, this isn’t true. In fact, marriage can make you independent, says Gurjyot Kaur

For many, marriage is seen as something restrictive — the end of independence or a loss of freedom. And, some practical minds consider marriage an illogical phenomena and prefer to live their lives on their own terms. However, there is another set of people who dream about getting married in a lavish, fairytale style, who believe in soulful connections and spending the rest of their lives with their significant other in utter bliss and happiness.

Also, there are some people who are happily married because both have fulfilling lives outside the relationship and don’t depend on each other for everything. If you’re convinced that marriage will rob you of your freedom, we’re clearing things up; it can be fulfilling and freeing.

The trust factor
A marriage is more than just a legal union. It is an association of souls and a bond that is supposed to last for a lifetime. In the institution of marriage, we learn and adopt values such as kindness, loyalty and respect. However, trusting your partner’s decisions can help nurture the relationship. If you trust and respect your partner, they’ll reciprocate by supporting you in your endeavours and encourage you to achieve your goals.

Building space
You don’t need to be starved of alone time or space in a marriage. All you have to do is create the space you want and communicate your need for it with your spouse. You don’t have to lose your identity just because your choices, interests and preferences don’t match. In fact, this can make you more independent, because you won’t rely on your spouse for the things you like to and want to do. If you happen to like similar things, you can enjoy them together. You don’t have to compromise, but simply understand each other’s needs.

Sharing things, but not freedom
They say happiness is something you can only have more of if you give it to others. And this is true of sharing as well. In your spouse you have a partner with whom you share practically everything. Your partner eventually becomes your strength and helps you fight every obstacle that comes your way. Share your lives, but not your freedom. That is important!

For many women, it may seem like marriage signals the end of their careers, but this doesn’t have to be the case. Many women handle both work and family effortlessly. Though our work gives us a sense of fulfilment, marriage and family can give a deeper meaning to our lives, but we needn’t sacrifice one for the other.

Understanding your partner
We all want a partner who is ready to tackle our problems with us and who will support our decisions — a companion with whom you share your happiness as well as your sorrows, someone who is always there for you. And so you should try and understand your partners needs and interests. Show them that you are willing to be that person for them, and they will repay you by being that person for you. Communication, balance and kindness empower your married life rather than taking away your freedom.

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